Singular Cerebrations: Candid Cameras

I recently heard the argument--as we all have--that since people all carry phones with cameras, that there should be an overwhelming number of photographs of paranormal phenomena.  My response to that is always the same: there is.  Have you seen the Internet?  Go ahead, type "ghost photo" into Google; I'll wait.  There are 137,000,000 results.  Now, many of those are artistic representations or stills from a movie, but many of them claim to be authentic.  I can't actually vouch for their authenticity, but that's not what we're talking about.  The fact is that they're out there, and anyone who says they aren't is either lying or lazy.  Of course the same can be said for pictures of UFOs and cryptids.  

I also often hear people wonder why there aren't higher quality photographs of the unexplained.  Well, have you ever been surprised by something amazing that lasted all of three seconds, and tried to get your phone out in time to take a picture?  I can't even manage to photograph my dog before he's done doing something adorable.  It's just not as easy as you might think.

And he's ALWAYS doing something adorable.  (Before you say anything, you should know my fiance took this picture.  I said that I have trouble doing it, not that it can't be done.)

The quality of cellphone cameras isn't exactly great, either.  They're really not made to take pictures or video of things in the sky, for instance.  A cellphone camera can take an otherwise astonishing UFO sighting and reduce it to banal blinking lights.

So, the next time somebody asks why it is that nobody ever manages to capture fortean events on film, I want you to flip them off.  Flip them off with both hands for precisely three seconds, and then while they're standing there surprised, ask them why they didn't manage to get a picture.  Afterwards, you can send a thousand pictures from the Internet to their inbox of hands flipping people off to show that despite the difficulty of capturing it, pictures of people being flipped off definitely still exist in large numbers.

Yours in Impossibility,

Tobias